


Time and Hearts Will Wear us Thin

by meandmybrokenfeels



Series: NaNoWriMo 2016 One-Shot Collection [12]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Diary/Journal, Drabble, Epikegster, Ficlet, Las Vegas Aces, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-09-01 20:55:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8637715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meandmybrokenfeels/pseuds/meandmybrokenfeels
Summary: Excerpts from Kent Parson’s journal with his thoughts on Jack Zimmermann. Inspired by Sick of Losing Soulmates and When by Dodie.





	

_I think I’ve been telling lies,_  
_‘Cause I’ve never been in love._

What we had wasn’t love, and I need to stop trying to tell myself it was. It was hormones, it was frantic, it was a mistake. We had plans for the future, and they definitely didn’t involve each other. At least, not like that. 

~~~

I’m sick of faking those journal entries. Gotta get it in my head--I’ll never be 18 again. I’m waiting for someone else to come along and I don’t think it’ll ever happen. What if I never find anyone? What if I end up alone?

What if I can never stop asking when?

~~~

I was cold, and you were broken, and we were both desperately searching for something to lean on that might possibly fix us. 

It wasn’t each other. We knew that then, and we definitely know that now.

~~~

There was no way of going around this. No matter what we did, we would always end up here. Every path led to a messy break.

Every path led to those pills. At least, every path that I can see. 

~~~

I won’t take no for an answer. Zimms, I’m seeing you at that frat house tonight. I’m taking you back with me. I can convince you to give up on that tiny college crap and get you back on your feet again. I’ll push for you to join the Aces with me. 

I miss you. And I’m not leaving without you.

~~~

Sometimes I think I’m too busy begging the past to stay. What am I doing? I’ve got my dream life---I made it into the NHL, for Christ’s sake. What more could I want?

Why can’t I be satisfied with my achievements? I’m on an epic point streak, I’m a celebrity in the hockey world, and I’ve got more than enough of everything I could possibly need. So why am I incapable of letting myself live in the moment?

~~~

Brave faces for the cameras, always keeping up appearances, always hiding the truth. We had to keep our talk light--this couldn’t get out. It would’ve killed both of our careers.

… but I wanted it. I wanted you, even if I could only ever see you in the dark. I’d take what I could get.

~~~

I thought we could grow old as friends. If not, well, whatever we were, then at least that. I don’t want to think about having to go through the rest of my life without you. Without being on good terms with you. 

Remember your promise? I do.

~~~

We play the Falconers this weekend. I’ll see you on the ice. My mind is full of these memories of us in juniors--Parse and Zimms, the elite duo. Nobody could get past us.

What will happen once we’re split, two halves each fighting to come out on top? Will either piece survive?

~~~

I hate this I hate this I hate this I HATE THIS. I’m so sick of everything that’s happened between us and I need to stop thinking about it but I CAN’T and I don’t know what to do.

_I'm sick of losing soulmates, so where do we begin?_  
I can finally see you're as fucked up as me,  
So how do we win? 

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short one, and a sad one. I was listening to a bunch of songs today that made me think about Kent's feelings for/about Jack, and I managed to narrow the musical inspiration down to two somehow.


End file.
